Hello Fabulous ones, just wanted to share with you a little dairy excerpt from a friend written in first person...
OK so I and my girlfriend were having a discussion about love and marriage, and she goes on to say that she does not believe in love. It was only fair for me to ask her in return...how she intended to settle down with a man if she did not believe in love.
Her response was quite startling...” I’ll marry for friendship, companionship and understanding”
Ok while i believe that all these things she listed are highly important and crucial in a relationship, I also believe that the person one chooses to settle with must offer something more...e.g ‘Love’
BUT WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF LOVE? To be honest, I always tell people who care to listen to me ramble, that there is no ideal definition for love. The white man has created the make-belief nonsense-whereby love is perfect and knows no wrong and sees no flaws and would never hurt you. As far as I’m concerned that a good load of crap and complete rubbish. When did we start to think that the person who loves us will not see our flaws...do u honestly believe that the guy that loves us so dearly won’t notice when you get fat and have a few skin crisis?
Do you honestly believe that he loves you so much that he would never see an attractive woman and admit to himself that yes she is indeed attractive?
Do you have that crazy presumption that he will still love you every single second when you piss him off and pick a fight with him? All these questions go for the guys as well not just my ladies.
Call me old fashioned but Love is not perfect and it will never be perfect, so face it! the sooner the better.
GUYS ARE THE WEAKER SEX and that’s been proven over time. A guy is more likely to have sex outside his own personal relationship than a woman would. They are more likely to be tempted and fall so yea, I guess it’s safe to say...’men are weak’. But that does not mean we should not give them a chance and show them love and care.
I will never accept the statement that says..."If he loves me, then he will not look at other women. He will see only me and no one else”, If you are one of those women who have this naive ideology on relationship, you need to wake up and smell the bacon cause you are on a trip.
I am not saying that it’s OK for a guy to cheat, because believe me it’s wrong and painful but I don’t believe that when a man cheats means he does not love you. Ok let me even use another example...For goodness sakes we commit sinful acts against God or when we disobey our parents or upset siblings... does it mean you don’t love them? Of course not!
I know a guy, he’s married with children with a gorgeous wife whom he adores. Let me tell you, HE CHEATS ON HER (unfortunately but inevitable) but his thefirst person that would take a gun for his wife. He does not believe that there is any other woman that could have been his partner or a better mother for his children. He is even open to anyone who cares to listen that he loves his wife and no other woman can come close. To him that is love, he does not see any other person worthy of being his wife even though he cheats. Men are just weak animals but they are the best actors when it comes to appearing tough and in control.
So maybe that’s his own way of loving. Look at Hollywood and the rate of divorce in that industry alone, not to think of the whole country, it’s because they have have acquired a fairytale like definition of that word ‘love’ and when they are not getting it, they run out of the relationship searching for what they might never find.
So please lets not say love does not exist, because it does. Maybe the definition you have is ‘out of this world’. You love God and yet you don’t live your life in perfect accordance with the Bible. You love your parents and yet you disobey them so many times and fight them.
So please maybe we should check ourselves and realise that no one is perfect. At the same time, if your partner is not treating you right and yet he still cheats...Abeg! jump out of that kind nonsense relationship. LOL
Please feel free to drop your opinions in the comment box...
ok..i get your point about men who cheat but still love their partners..and i share your view about love not being perfect cos humans are not perfect and cannot show perfect love..however i am not of the opinion that just because a man is the weaker sex and that he is more likely to cheat, then because he loves his wife, the act he is committing should not dispute the love he has for her. the example about your married friend who cheats is my point exactly. he loves his wife..but will his view still be the same if she were the one cheating?..his love for her is very selfish because he doesnt care that what he is doing to her is hurting her. he is not making any effort to curb his cheating habits..he is accepting it as inevitable but he still loves his wife so its all good. the bible says love is kind..his actions in that regard are unkind to his wife. will he see cheating as inevitable if the tables were turned..even though she will still be able to carry a gun for him? i do not believe that because there is a general perception about something, then it is impossible to change it. why cant the love he has for her deter him from sleeping around..i am not talking about admiring or being attracted to other women..but sleeping with them. if it was a one time thing and he is sorry..then there is no reason why she cant forgive him cos mistakes happen. but i dont see why a man will make a habit of cheating but still claim to love a woman, so she should overlook his cheating and still stay with him..love ko love ni!..the effort he will put into not cheating on his wife will be evidence to the love he has for her in my opinion.
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